Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Many Legs & Many Hats

Yeah, I'm still here. It's been a while, I realize... my longest blogging dry spell (from this site, anyway). I'm a bad blogging Mommy. Tsk tsk.

I suppose you could say I have a lot on my mind. And it was a crappy week. And I'm not exactly sure what to do with everything that's happening in my life right now.

Ugh. I'm confused.

I started composing this blog post in my head (I do that sometimes) about a week ago... at 1 AM when I had insomnia. I had just had unpleasant encounters with someone from work, school, and my personal life and I had a lot to mull over. So I was sitting in bed, thinking - half about my life and half about why-in-the-hell-I-was-awake-at-1-AM - and I decided to go get a notebook to get it out on paper. Sometimes that helps me get to sleep.

I went into the office to get a notebook and instead encountered one of those giant centipede things. It was all up in my diploma frame and ready to eat me alive. With a can of aerosol Pantene hairspray (yes, there's a hole in the ozone with my name on it), and one of Mike's shoes (because mine don't fight insects as a general rule), I battled it to the death.

Once victorious, I was too tired to write anything. And this blog post was shelved. Indefinitely.

So here I am, barely able to remember what I was going to say, but I think it was something about juggling. And how I have always sucked at it because of my poor coordination.

But in the days following that night, I have worn so many hats, I can't remember which hat I left all those thoughts in. And really, between the Mommy Hat, Writer Hat, Student Hat, Admin Hat, Wife Hat, Housekeeper Hat, Pet-Owner Hat, Friend Hat, Daughter Hat, and Sister Hat.... well, jeez. What was I saying?

Oh yeah. Juggling. I suck at it.

What I've learned this week is that I can't wear more than one hat at a time. If I do, I really can't concentrate well on either one. I just don't give either "hat" it's due amount of attention.

On the other hand, I can't wear any one hat for too long, because my other hats feel neglected. But now I have too many hats to have enough time to give them all the attention they need. Does that make sense?

I'm only one woman.

I only have one head.

So, I needed to vent. Here I am. Back at work, still in school, adjusting to days away from my Ellie Belly, and trying to be the supportive friend I've always been. Oh yeah, also trying to write for a career. In my alleged free time.

In case you were wondering, there's no Free Time Hat anymore.

Now, I'm not complaining. I really am looking for a solution. I can't help that I have all of these responsibilities, and I don't resent any of them. I want this to work. I do. I just don't know how to get a good hat rotation schedule.

And yeah, I need to spend more time with that Exercise Hat.

Fat chance.

But that centipede encounter did teach me something. Sometimes in our lives, we need to put our thoughts away, arm ourselves with shoes and hairspray, and beat the living daylights out of a problem. How many legs that problem has is beside the point. When it's time to step up and do something, that's all you have to concentrate on.

With a little hard work, and some forethought, maybe I can get ahead of the problem and be waiting there, shoe in hand. Finding the problems before they find me might be the only way to keep up with my life for a little while.

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