Did you know that there are not trash bins in church? There aren't. I'd never noticed this phenomenon before, since I've never walked into mass with trash in my hand. Ever (which I find somewhat strange, but whatever). They say motherhood changes everything, and this walking-into-mass-with-trash-in-hand thing is included.
Yesterday morning, Mike and Ellie and I went to breakfast at our favorite diner. As we were getting ready to leave, Ellie made us a present in her pants. The diner doesn't really have any bathrooms to speak of, certainly no designated changing area, and I wasn't about to change her on the table in front of the manager. So we paid the bill and I changed Ellie in the car. There were no barrels around on the street, so I kept the diaper in the car as we drove to mass.
"We'll find a barrel," Mike said. "It's only a few minutes away."
"Yeah, but this one's really bad, hon," I said, trying not to leave my mouth open too long. It really smelled. It was ruining my french toast breakfast.
"They gotta have a barrel at the church. Throw it out there."
And I agreed, because there are trash barrels everywhere else. Surely, we could throw it out in a barrel in the parking lot. Or outside the entrance. Um.... nope.
Apparently, Jesus makes no waste of any kind. Consequently, he doesn't recycle either. There were no bins anywhere.
As I walked into the church, clutching my daughter's waste in my hand, I panicked. Mass had started. There were no barrels. Mike was ahead of me and unless I yelled, "Wait! Where can I put the poop?!" I wasn't going to stop him.
So I ran back out to the car and put the diaper in the trunk. Cuz, you know, when the car gets hot and the poop gets hot, it would make the car smelly. Right? Better to put it in the trunk. At least we can't smell it there.
Thankfully, when we got home, Mike remembered to ask me where I put the diaper. If he hadn't it would still be sitting there. Tragedy was averted for us, but how many other parents are forced to store baby waste in their trunks? One barrel, just one, could have solved this dilemma.
When I put my money in the collection bin, do you think I can earmark it for "waste management solutions?" Just a thought...