tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39613311314321145502024-03-13T00:06:54.016-04:00In My Ellie-mentMy daughter Elissa has given me the opportunity to be what I've always dreamed of... a real mommy. It's just not as easy as I thought it would be.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.comBlogger86125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-38818880008364625542011-06-22T05:42:00.000-04:002011-06-22T05:42:00.594-04:00The Fitness WagonAh, the fitness wagon. I'm a frequent passenger, but I usually buy the multi-stop ticket so I can jump on and off as I see fit (no pun intended). I'm hard core, I'm lazy. But the Fitness Wagon is always on my mind, for over a decade now it's consumed my life.<br />
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I don't want to be a fat chick anymore.<br />
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So last week I had my annual check up and I'm totally healthy. No concerns. Perfect blood sugar, cholesterol, blood pressure. No weird spots, no weird symptoms, no strange pains. C-section is healed, my body is ready for another baby.<br />
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But I'm not ready yet. I still have work to do. I still have a long ride on that Fitness Wagon to take. So why is this so hard? Am I just lazy? Am I scared that my identity will melt away with the pounds?<br />
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I know that's ridiculous and yet, something has held me back for over ten years. Something has derailed every Fitness Wagon ride I've been on since college. Frankly, I'm sick of this bullsh*t. Excuse my French.<br />
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I've lost only 17 of the 30 pounds I set out to lose by June. Now, June's almost over. Still got 13 pounds to go before I'll let myself have that second baby. So if you're waiting for pregnancy news, keep waiting. Mommy's not allowed to do anything until she finishes this. Seriously.<br />
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So this summer, I hope I run right by you on the sidewalk. I hope I kick the pants off of Jillian Michaels and her insane workout DVDs. I hope I finally give myself the reward I deserve for all my hard work. And I hope I can finally be proud to stand next to my hot, 60-pounds-trimmer husband and feel like I belong there.<br />
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Give me a leg-up on this Fitness Wagon and then, please, keep the cookies and the cupcakes out of my way, okay?Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-3276823109904818102011-06-21T05:24:00.000-04:002011-06-21T05:24:00.187-04:00Only For Now<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jFIZ1oK5gPk/Tf-7Na10L-I/AAAAAAAAAtE/lYM1fQK8fRs/s1600/avenuew.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jFIZ1oK5gPk/Tf-7Na10L-I/AAAAAAAAAtE/lYM1fQK8fRs/s200/avenuew.jpg" width="129" /></a></div><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jFIZ1oK5gPk/Tf-7Na10L-I/AAAAAAAAAtE/lYM1fQK8fRs/s1600/avenuew.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><div style="text-align: left;" unselectable="on"> </div></a>There's this awesome Broadway show called <em>Avenue Q</em>, a twisted version of puppet-storytelling made just for the adults who grew up watching <em>Sesame Street. </em>While it's not something I'll be letting my kids watch (or hear) anytime soon, I really do love it. I especially like the subtle wisdom it purports to fans... that growing up is sometimes disappointing, boring, and filled with things we don't really want to do. But we do it anyway, sing a song about it, and move on.<br />
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As the finale song says, "Except for death and paying taxes, everything in life is only for now." <br />
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So yeah, I think about that when stuff isn't exactly the way I expected it to be. When I go through rough patches, it helps me stay focused on how I'm going to change what I can in my situation. It's a good motivator, and a catchy tune too.<br />
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When I had Ellie, things really sucked. She was sick, I was distracted... it happens. But it was only for "then," and now we're on to the next things. When I had a tough time juggling work and a baby and my writing, I pushed through it and kept reminding myself it would pass, it would get easier. It did, it always does. And now, here I am. A brand new set of "only for nows" in my life, a whole new list of struggles. Honestly, I don't let it bog me down.<br />
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I really don't have the luxury of letting myself get bogged down. It takes up too much time.<br />
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Yeah, parenthood is tough... mostly because it's so vastly different from the way your life used to be. Who doesn't wish they could just go get an ice cream late at night or see the latest movie with only a few minutes' notice? Spontaneity isn't one of my life's accessories right now. But it doesn't bother me at all.<br />
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One day, my kids won't live at home anymore and I'll be able to see all the movies and get all the ice cream cones I want, with no one to stop me. But I'll have my own struggles when that happens and I'll probably mourn my "empty nest." My "only for nows" suit me just fine right now and I plan to enjoy them for all that their worth.<br />
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I'll trade all the ice cream cones in the world for the day-to-day life I have, even with all the limits and difficulties. I don't want to be rescued, I don't need to be freed. I get the occasional night out and I enjoy it, but really, I belong here. And I like it here.<br />
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Even if it's only for now.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-61005226491199432692011-06-20T17:23:00.000-04:002011-06-20T17:23:41.281-04:00Elissa at Sixteen MonthsIt's been a long, long time since my last Ellie update. And if you don't follow me on facebook, you've been left in the dark. For that, I apologize.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Bu2DzJGDlKE/Tf-52AeR_1I/AAAAAAAAAtA/5Xm2J0U6kRA/s1600/IMG_0590.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Bu2DzJGDlKE/Tf-52AeR_1I/AAAAAAAAAtA/5Xm2J0U6kRA/s200/IMG_0590.JPG" width="150" /></a></div>Meanwhile, my little jelly bean turns 16 months old this week... and what an incredible journey it has been so far! She's walking, talking, and causing trouble like a little tornado. It's certainly keeping me on my toes, but it is much more fun to spend the day with her. She's mimicking almost everything I do now (which means no more cursing!) and wants to explore every bit of her environment (which means more toddler-proofing is required!) I'm having a great time watching her learn and grow, possibly the most rewarding aspect of parenting I've discovered so far.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Xot9cTsH8Ug/Tf-5t4_VBCI/AAAAAAAAAs8/xMvtPAxNFwQ/s1600/IMG_0614.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Xot9cTsH8Ug/Tf-5t4_VBCI/AAAAAAAAAs8/xMvtPAxNFwQ/s200/IMG_0614.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>Another thing that's changing about our little Ellie is her crazy mane of hair. We've gone from short, stick-straight locks to all-out curly tresses. I suspect she inherited this from my youngest sister, the only one of us to have so many curls and keep them later on. Ellie's hair is beautiful (if I do say so myself) and seems to be staying light and naturally highlighted for the time being.<br />
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We're down to just one nap a day now, but at least she's sleeping through the night again... finally! Those last four teeth came in all together and kept us up many, many nights together. I'm just praying that her mollars come in one at a time and let my angel get some sleep (and me!)<br />
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So now we have one week left until Daddy is on vacation, Mommy's book comes out next month, and the Ellie Bean is growing big and strong and getting ready for her second exciting adventure-filled summer. I hope it will be easier for me to keep you posted in the meantime!Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-59338150605736334122011-06-20T16:38:00.000-04:002011-06-20T16:38:55.846-04:00My Neglected Blog...Oh, my poor blog. How could I have neglected you for so long?<br />
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Once again, I broke my word and left you to suffer, while I busied myself with other blogs, articles, and novels. How dare I? <br />
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Truth be told, I've even considered moving you to Wordpress, where my posts won't get randomly deleted in a systems upgrade. But I haven't had the time or energy for that yet.<br />
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My poor, neglected blog.<br />
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I'm back now. It's all going to be okay.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-27621020596258353312011-04-12T13:22:00.000-04:002011-04-12T13:22:18.741-04:00Stephie H | WritersCafe.org<a href="http://www.writerscafe.org/SSHaddad21">Stephie H WritersCafe.org</a>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-4244043266706674892011-04-04T08:32:00.001-04:002011-04-04T11:42:07.672-04:00Rearing, Writing, & 'RobiesThe new Three R's are my life are exactly that: rearing, writing, and 'robies. What's 'robies? My nerdy term for aerobics, i.e. the Jillian Michaels' DVD I complete <em>every single stinking day</em> and my revved up treadmill training for that 5K. The rearing--duh--is Ellie. And the writing--also, duh--is my job. And my hobby, consequently. It just so happens to be the same noun. And verb. Oooohhh...<br />
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See? Word Nerd.<br />
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So that's that. My life in a series of disjointed words, similar only in their alliterative appeal.<br />
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Giant Word Nerd.<br />
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The trouble is that they all demand a lot of my time. Cramming a 20-hour-a-week part-time job into the nooks and crannies of my day is quite taxing. Choosing whether to work or work-out? One of life's great rock-and-a-hard-place decisions. Neither is ever done... I will work every day and I will work-out every day. If I skip a day? I pick up where I left off tomorrow. So how do you choose which is most important? They all keep cycling back on themselves, a never ending hamster wheel of my life (I don't like the term "rat race," hamsters are far cuter and less disease-ridden...mostly.)<br />
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But of course, my priorities are already arranged for me, aren't they? That's the part of motherhood that doesn't translate from the pages of <em>What to Expect</em>... You know the baby will come first, always. That's obvious. But they don't explain to you what it feels like to compartmentalize the rest of your life around the baby. <br />
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And that's why the Three R's of my life are set up in that order. Ellie always comes first, and with the rest of my time, I write to meet deadlines and I work-out as much as I can every day. The result is that sometimes I can only get the DVD in and other days, I can find some time for a full hour-long run. Once in a while.<br />
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But what you might notice is missing from my Three R's is the all-important fourth R. One that's probably missing from most mom's priority lists. Relaxing. Nope, there's not much time for that. And within that elusive, missing R lies the time for my hobby.<br />
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You try writing a novel and selling it when you only have about two hours a week to <em>really</em> dedicate to your craft. For real. Go ahead. It's fun for me, it's good to have a hobby, but why did I pick one so aggressive? No idea. I'm an overachiever even in my spare time. How lame. Or I'm just in love with the idea that I could make people laugh, worldwide, in their own time to Relax. Sounds pretty nice, doesn't it?<br />
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Maybe it will happen. And maybe I'll find space for a Fourth R. But if basic elementary school curriculums couldn't do it, is there any hope for me?Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-21625240145012240452011-03-28T08:40:00.000-04:002011-03-28T08:40:00.610-04:00Confession: My Kid Likes TV<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-EuRMgSNeaDo/TY6xwGStTwI/AAAAAAAAAlI/u2zp5OgU5sA/s1600/bubbleguppies.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="183" r6="true" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-EuRMgSNeaDo/TY6xwGStTwI/AAAAAAAAAlI/u2zp5OgU5sA/s320/bubbleguppies.png" width="320" /></a></div>All right, folks. You might judge me for this post, and that's okay. When I had Ellie, I too scoffed at parents who let their kids watch TV. I swore a television wouldn't raise my daughter. I promised myself not to get sucked into Nick Jr or the Disney channel or even PBS.<br />
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Yet here I am. Another victim to the television. Another helplIess parent who switched on the TV and found something fun to watch.<br />
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My first parenting confession is this: I let Ellie watch TV sometimes.<br />
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Although experts recommend that you keep your kids away from the TV until age 2, I have to argue that it's not really feasible. What kid isn't going to <em>see</em> a TV by then? We watch TV and I'm fooling myself if I think Ellie's not watching it too. Hell, my kid loves football, as we discovered this NFL season. That made me very happy indeed, and it introduced me to the notion that the television might actually hold her attention long enough for me to get a fresh cup of coffee.<br />
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Yeah, it sure does. It also helps distract her when her poor little mouth hurts from teething. And when we sing along with her favorite show, she's learning how to dance. Through some intense self rationalization, I've realized that TV isn't really all bad. It's got some handy benefits.<br />
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The thing about TV is that you can't let it raise your kid, sure. If I was plopping her in front of it for hours and doing my own thing elsewhere, I might feel guilty. But her favorite show is "Bubble Guppies," this really cute little show with songs and dances in it. And we both enjoy watching it together. She's not old enough yet to learn colors or absorb the other content, but we can work on language and practice those toddler dance moves. <br />
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Yes, it gives me time to go to the bathroom. Sure, it's nice to relax and let someone else take over for a few minutes. But it's more than that. It makes her really happy when it comes on, and when she looks over at me all excited and starts clapping because I've cued up an episode, I can't really feel that guilty at all.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-37778258239415150932011-03-27T08:50:00.011-04:002011-03-27T08:50:00.115-04:00Harder Than AdvertisedI'm still running, in case you were curious. Sometimes I have a tendency to abandon these "missions" that I get into my head. Sometimes I fall off the wagon. I have tied myself to this wagon and I'm not letting go. This chick is running a 5K, alright?<br />
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So running... it's still happening. But it's harder than I thought. Why can't I just jump on a treadmill and run 10 miles, you know? I get to the gym all motivated and ready to rock at running. Then, poof! I'm five minutes in and all that motivation dissolves. My muscles hurt, I've got a cramp, my nose is running (more than I am)... etc. Not good.<br />
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I push through and I do the best I can, but some days are such a struggle that I do think about jumping from the wagon. Will it ever get easier? Am I training the right way? What if I don't make it?<br />
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Then I have days like Thursday, when I manage to run for 18 minutes straight, no break. A record for me. I was feeling good, almost like I could call myself a runner. Almost. <br />
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And just as quickly, the pendulum swings back the other way and I have a day like yesterday. We decided to go for a jog outside (gym was super busy) and I go about 2 minutes before I want to die. Hills. Cold air. Pavement. Things I don't encounter on the treadmill, things I <em>will</em> encounter when I attempt that 5k. What happens when I get off that treadmill? What's the big deal about running outside? <br />
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Why I am torturing myself like this?<br />
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Right, new commitment to fitness. Right. Stay focused, Haddad. Stick with it.<br />
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But in all seriousness, this is so much harder than it looks. I'm doing my best and I'm improving, for sure. I just wish it wouldn't take so darn long.<br />
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And as for that pavement.... you better look out. As soon as it gets warmer, I'm comin' for you.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-25645909757198977762011-03-22T11:24:00.033-04:002011-03-22T11:24:00.187-04:00Read More of Me OnlineNow is the time on my blog when I shamelessly promote myself.<br />
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If this is a newsflash, I'm a freelance writer when I find the time. I write about health, skincare and beauty, pets, shopping, saving money, pregnancy, motherhood, and lots more. Juggling a handful of jobs, I try to paste together a small income. Sometimes, I get paid per number of clicks my article gets. So even if you don't want to read it, clicking on it helps me make money. Clicks are much appreciated!<br />
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Here are some of the places you can view my writing online:<br />
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Burlington Patch: <br />
I'm a columnist writing about new parenting issues. <br />
Read my weekly column, <a href="http://burlington.patch.com/search?keywords=Haddad">Crib Notes</a> every Saturday!<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
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ShopGala:<br />
Here, I blog about site reviews, new products, shopping tips, and money saving tips.<br />
Visit my<a href="http://shopgala.com/couponblog/author/PennyPincher/"> Author Profile</a> for a full list of my blogs.<br />
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Yahoo! Contributor Network:<br />
I'm a Beauty Contributer here, hoping to add Parenting and Fashion to my billing as well.<br />
Check out my monthy articles on my <a href="http://contributor.yahoo.com/user/554116/stephanie_haddad.html">Yahoo! Profile</a>.<br />
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Mommy's Makeup Drawer:<br />
I've been developing my own blog devoted to skin care for mothers and expectant mothers.<br />
Check out <a href="http://mommymakeup.wordpress.com/">the blog</a> for some great tips and product reviews!<br />
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Suite 101:<br />
I write pet care and health articles here.<br />
Visit my <a href="http://www.suite101.com/profile.cfm/stephaniehaddad">Suite 101 Profile</a> for all my articles.<br />
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Other Stuff....<br />
I also ghostwrite for <a href="http://www.best-natural-skin-care.com/articles/">Best Natural Skin Care</a>.<br />
I've also been developing brand content for<a href="http://www.styleretail.com/"> Style Retail</a>.<br />
Plus, follow my movie reviewing blog at <a href="http://moviewallproject.blogspot.com/">Climbing the Movie Wall</a>.<br />
And of course, my <a href="http://stephaniehaddad.wordpress.com/">fiction writing blog</a>, just for fun.<br />
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For more information, follow me on <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/StephieHaddad">Twitter</a> or visit <a href="http://www.stephaniehaddad.com/">Stephanie Haddad online</a>.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-22248689341521817242011-03-21T11:19:00.000-04:002011-03-21T11:19:36.027-04:00Paths We WalkYesterday, I watched Mike emcee a local variety show. It was mostly a concert for a community orchestra, composed of purely volunteer musicians. And I gotta tell you, they were pretty darn good. Mike was good too, but I already knew that. :)<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-qGbm_MIonko/TYdopRb-Y7I/AAAAAAAAAkQ/9Im98mg2XpI/s1600/piano.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" r6="true" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-qGbm_MIonko/TYdopRb-Y7I/AAAAAAAAAkQ/9Im98mg2XpI/s200/piano.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>But watching a huge orchestra, adults of all ages, musicians playing all sorts of instruments, well it got me thinking. I know, I know. I always "get thinking" about these things. In this case, I started thinking about my own days as a musician. A long time ago, I took both piano and flute lessons. Even voice lessons, at one point. I was decent - I needed practice, it's true - but I had a natural inclination towards music.<br />
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And before music, it was dance. I once took tap, ballet, jazz, and even hip-hop. I loved dancing, hated the practices though (some of that I attribute to how mean little girls can be, especially when you're the chubby kid). In time, just as I walked away from the flute and the piano and my voice lessons, I walked away from all those dance classes.<br />
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Some of these changes were necessary. We moved around a few times during my formative years, so I had to find a new piano teacher or locate a new dance studio. Sometimes, lessons were just to expensive. But giving up the classes didn't have to equal giving up the hobby. I owned a flute, a piano, a pair of tap shoes. Instead of practicing, embracing my passion for these arts, I let my talents rust and my music and dance muscles atrophy. Those things were easy to give up, easy to ignore as I chose a different path. Why?<br />
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What makes us choose what we want to be good at? The men and women of that orchestra remained committed to playing the flute, the violin, the tuba. No matter the odds, they kept at it. Perfected their craft, honed their skills, and dedicated time as adults to pursuing their beloved hobby. I didn't choose that path and I wonder why not. <br />
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In the two years since I found out I was pregnant with Ellie, I've given up another hobby: theater. For a long time, acting and working backstage on shows was my life. It got me through the tough parts of college, the rough patches in my life. I turned to the stage as a refuge and came to relish the sound of applause. Acting turned me from a shy person to a confident one and it stayed a huge focus of my life for nearly a decade. After college, I started to let go, still dabbling in costumes and props here and there. I got back onto the stage a few years ago, happily acting beside Mike, and then just gave it up again. Just like that. <br />
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Mike, as many of you know, is still very active in theater. <em>That</em> is his passion. Acting, directing, writing plays... he's even on the board on one local theater and hoping to coach a summer program for another. His talents are alive and well, they get plenty of exercise, and he chooses to spend part of his free time dedicated to this craft. Theater is part of who he is. He <em>chose</em> to let it define him. I let it go; I didn't choose it.<br />
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As you know, I chose a different path. A more solitary path. Writing. It's a craft you must do alone, but that you can share with others when it's done. You can't practice writing with a friend, not really. You can't get a troupe together and perform a night of writing (umm... boring). I chose the most solitary artform there is. What made me choose the path? What made me say, "Yes, this is the talent I want to develop"?<br />
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I guess we all face many times in out lives when we have to choose a path. How many talents in your life did you discover and choose to walk away from? Today, if I pick up a flute, I can still play it...kinda. I still remember how to do a timestep, with a few minutes practice. And if I wanted to read you a dramatic monologue, I'd probably get by okay. The talents lay dormant, the paths unexplored.<br />
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So watching that orchestra reminded me of these things. Of how all the little choices we make in our childhoods can result in one big path. One path to writing, for me. One path to acting, for Mike. One path to playing the xylophone, for someone else. I like to think of how I might've done, had I picked another path. But I didn't. <br />
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In 20 years from now, Ellie will have picked her own path too. I guess I'll just have to tell her to follow her heart, her gut instinct. It doesn't really matter to me what she does - professionally or as a hobby. Maybe she'll make a career out of one of the things Mike and I choose to do as a hobby. Maybe she'll have an extraordinary talent for something I've never attempted. Whatever it is, I'll push her to follow it. I have my <br />
path and she needs to find her own path too.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-72325082227391986042011-03-19T15:36:00.000-04:002011-03-19T15:36:36.462-04:00Lenten FitnessSome people give up stuff for Lent. As a child attending Catholic school, it was always a big deal to choose the perfect Lenten sacrifice. One year, I gave up candy. Another, it was ice cream. When I got older, the "sacrifices" became more sophisticated and specific: no Snapple iced tea, no Jelly Belly jelly beans, etc. <br />
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And then I discovered that the Sundays in Lent aren't counted in the 40 day total, so you could "cheat" on Sundays. Pretty soon, with the tug on that one tiny thread, my commitment to Lenten sacrifices unraveled. What was the point? So I don't eat candy for a month or so, and what does that do to save starving people or benefit society as a whole? What good comes from me saving a few bucks on a treat here and there?<br />
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Not much. Sure, the sacrifice is more about being a metaphor of your willingness to sacrifice as Jesus did. But man, he really <em>did </em>something. Maybe instead, I should make a commitment to do something instead of not doing it. I can't heal the whole world, but I could do something positive, right?<br />
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In my first year of this new positive commitment to the Lenten season, I'm choosing to stay small. You all know about my constant struggle to bring my weight down and get in shape. It's hard not to know if you read this blog. My getting healthy is for more than just myself. It's to ensure I'm around to see my kids grow up, to grow old with Mike, to avoid diseases that have plagued previous generations of my family, and to set a good example to my children and others who look up to me. <br />
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I can't afford to feed a hungry family or go away to build a house with Habitat for Humanity. The bigger things will come when the time is right. For now, I can change things in my tiny bubble of a world.<br />
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So the treadmill keeps rolling. If the weather stays nice, these daily walks will keep up too. And Jillian Michaels's 30-Day-Shred is in the DVD player. If you're interested, there will be a mini <em>Just Dance </em>party on my Wii here every night. I'm going to get moving and hope it creates a ripple effect throughout my life and others'. I hope that doesn't sound shallow or egotistical in any way, because it isn't meant to be. <br />
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I guess you could say I'm sacrificing time on the couch for a healthier lifestyle. That sounds a lot more productive and exciting, don't you think?Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-84284522605193357962011-03-16T18:35:00.000-04:002011-03-16T18:35:56.789-04:00Reading Is FUNdamentalSo I'm a writer, right? And writers, to perfect their craft, have to read. Actually, nine times out of ten, writers become writers just because of how much they love to read. I find myself wanting to write the stories I haven't read yet, creating the characters I haven't met yet...and the like. <br />
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So I'm a reader, too. And I read <em>a lot</em>. Not as much as my sister, who devours entire novels in a day. Honestly, no one reads like her. But compared to the average person, I eat books for breakfast. Well, not like Ellie, who actually does <em>eat </em>books. (Her favorites are Kristan Higgins's romance novels. On this we can agree, we just have different ways of showing it.) But yes, reading is kinda my thing.<br />
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I hear a lot of people say things like "I don't have time to read!" or "I can't get into any books right now!" and other stuff like that. Reading is a dying past-time, from my perspective, and I can't understand why, especially with e-books and Kindles and stuff. I don't have tons of time on my hands -- what with writing novels, freelance writing, raising Ellie, taking care of the apartment, taking care of Penny, etc. -- but I squeeze it in. Even if it's only a few pages a day - during nap time, just before bed. Whenever. <br />
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A few years go, I was one of those people who didn't have time to read. Or so I thought. The first New Year's resolution I ever kept was to read more - one book a month, to be exact. That was in 2004. I've read at least one book a month for the past 7 years thanks to that resolution. Now, I'm reading more like two books a month. Right now, it's March and I've just started my sixth book of the year.<br />
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So why do I do it? It's the one thing I enjoy that doesn't take up tons of time or require that I go anywhere or wear something special. I can read anytime, anywhere. I just need my book. Last year, when Ellie was in the hospital for 67 days after birth, reading was the only thing I could do to occupy my mind. Writing required too much concentration and movies were tough to watch on the commute back and forth or hanging out in that hospital room. Books fit in my purse, so I just kept reading and reading. In 10 weeks, I read 14 books. It kept me grounded when my life threw me a curveball, so to reading, I owe a huge debt.<br />
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I'm glad I've rediscovered my love of books and I won't be giving it up any time soon. And between my packed shelf of "Books to Read" and the Nook I got last Christmas, I'm gonna be busy for many months to come. But just think of all the inspiration - and enjoyment - it will bring me.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-844426073701445132011-03-09T20:13:00.002-05:002011-03-09T20:13:00.524-05:00Run, Stephie, Run!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-lOWuFZdXG_w/TXgK7P5FRgI/AAAAAAAAAhk/VXrAMs_Jdso/s1600/running.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" q6="true" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-lOWuFZdXG_w/TXgK7P5FRgI/AAAAAAAAAhk/VXrAMs_Jdso/s320/running.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>In January, I started a new commitment to fitness. I realized that all my diets (a decade worth of them) had always focused on the diet. Diet's the wrong word, to be honest. I changed my eating, practically starving myself, desperate for the first cookie I saw. My diets were always a sham. And I never lost that much, since I just took in fewer calories and continued to live my mostly sedentary lifestyle of writing and watching TV. No bueno.<br />
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Two years ago, Mike got up and started moving. He watched what he ate, adding fiber here and there, cutting down portion sizes, making healthier choices. But the biggest change he made was a frequent gym habit. Mike made friends with the elliptical machine, started running on the treadmill, took the bike out for 20+ mile rides when the weather was nice. He got his butt in gear and he dropped 60 pounds that he's maintaining with minimal effort today. He's probably cut his risk for heart disease and diabetes in half and added 20 years to his life. Also, he looks pretty damn good in a pair of jeans.<br />
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I'm pretty jealous.<br />
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But I'm also realizing that if he's gonna be around for 20 extra years, I want to be there with him. I want to run after Ellie without getting winded, not be a huge whale next time I get pregnant, and lead by example to teach my kids a healthy lifestyle. So I put on my sneakers one random January day and I went to the gym. For real this time.<br />
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I started at a slow crawl. Level 3.0, a 20-minute mile. I made myself go a minimum of 2.5 miles every day. Again and again and again. Then one day, I decided to jog for a bit. I've been running/jogging/walking intervals ever since, probably 4 or 5 days a week at the gym. After a few weeks of this, I realized that I don't hate running as much as I previously thought. It's true, I used to be one of those people who wouldn't run unless I was being chased. <br />
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But now I'm racing my own records on that treadmill, trying to shave off a few seconds here and there. I'm getting addicted, competing with myself, running for the peace of mind it gives me and the adrenaline rush that happens. It feels good to get off that damn couch. And that's why I'm now training to run a 5K (3.1 miles).<br />
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Two months ago, it took me 60 minutes to get 3 miles, on a good day.<br />
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Today, I ran 3 miles in 41:47. <br />
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I'd say I'm making good progress. And although my first outdoor run with Mike was a pitiful excuse for a "jog," I have hope that I'm going to get better. So stay tuned, because this Mom's taking the show on the road sometime in June.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-44170032859825213542011-03-09T18:47:00.000-05:002011-03-09T18:47:03.285-05:00Changes to SiteHey there,<br />
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If you've noticed the changes around here, that's because Ellie has reached her first birthday and it was time to redecorate!!!<br />
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Don't worry, you can still view all the missing pictures! I have moved all the photos from the sidebar (birth to one year) to a new page: <a href="http://inmyelliement.blogspot.com/p/ellie-vision-photo-gallery.html">Ellie-Vision Photo Gallery</a><br />
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The left hand side bar will now feature monthly pictures as we journey through Ellie's second year!<br />
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Thanks for taking the trip with us. Hope you keep reading!<br />
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- Stephanie & ElissaStephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-87658467867010400362011-03-09T18:13:00.000-05:002011-03-09T18:13:24.246-05:00Updates & SuchI did it again even though I swore I wouldn't. I took over a month away from my personal blog. I'm a jerk.<br />
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So here's what you've been missing since then...<br />
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#1 - Ellie turned one! She has officially made it to one year and beyond, a milestone that her daddy and I (and a few dozen family and friends) were only too happy to share with her. More on the birthday and my little princess's big pink dress in a later post, I promise.<br />
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#2 - Mommy's got some new jobs. I hemmed and hawed and left the one big writing job that was paying most of my bills. Why? Because it was also killing me. My schedule was atrocious. No mom can stay up until 3 AM working then get up at 7 AM with a baby and be happy about it. It's just not possible. I traded that in for some new gigs that I was only too happy to find. Another forthcoming post on this, I promise.<br />
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#3 - Get your running shoes, it's almost spring! Eager to get back outside soon, I've become super active Mommy and started training to run a 5K. Crazy, I know. More on that later.<br />
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I'm sure there's lots more going on and my new commitment to blogging will capture it all. I promise!<br />
Stay tuned for more in depth posts :)Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-11656596183705111832011-01-19T13:24:00.000-05:002011-01-19T13:24:06.599-05:00Good Mom, Meh FriendI have to be careful how I write this post, so I don't come off as "Oh woe is me!" That's not the point. This is meant to be an observation, a realization maybe, not a whine fest. So please read with that in mind.<br />
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Before I was a mom, I like to think I was a good friend. I did my best to always make myself available for a good cry/meltdown/nervous breakdown when my friends needed me. I tried to give good advice from the heart when they asked for it. I gave out hugs like they were going out of style. And I always showed up when and where I said I would. I laughed, cried, and watched stupid movies with my friends. I cooked for them, baked them their favorites if they had a bad day, and hosted parties just for the heck of it ("You woke up cranky today? Let's have a party! That will make you feel better!")<br />
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I wasn't the best friend in the world - by any means - but there was never any doubt that I wanted to be. If I could have figured out a way to be the perfect friend, I would have done it, then turned around and taught a class on it. But I'm only human. And while some of my friends called my "mom" as a joke, I liked to think that I offered a similar level of reliability and compassion to them.<br />
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And now... I am a mom. Not their mom, Ellie's mom. During my pregnancy, the thing that kept me up at night and set me off crying regularly, was a fear that becoming a mom would make me not a "mom" to my friends, just another one of those women who disappears because she has a baby. Or only talks about what her baby is doing/eating/pooping today. She becomes a recluse, starts to be unreliable to everyone but her child, and maybe isn't the best friend she could be anymore.<br />
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I didn't want that to happen.<br />
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It happened anyway.<br />
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The truth is, I have to use the same part of my heart for my daughter as I did for those friends. I had to learn how to make it all fit together, how to be there for everyone all the time. I did try, for as long as I could. But my life doesn't leave me time for everything I <em>want</em> to do, just for the things I <em>need </em>to do. I work from home. I'm on 24-hour Baby Duty, almost 7 days a week. I'm trying to publish a novel (so that will BE my working from home one day, not an extra hobby). Things like phone calls fall through the cracks - I always answer (now, anyway) but I don't always get the chance to pick up and dial. Things like baking cookies and throwing parties are just another "chore" now, not a joy. It feels empty sometimes, but it's also tremendously fulfilling, to do what I'm doing. I'm lonely some days. Others, I just want to be alone. (REALLY alone, not 'alone with the baby and the dog.') Taking care of me is the last priority, so where does that put everything else?<br />
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Here's the part where everyone says things like, "It's only temporary" or "Just make more of an effort."<br />
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But I'm tired. I'm toast. I've spent a lot of time worrying what everyone thought about me - my whole life, actually - and it's exhausting. My good friends see this, they understand. They remember when I had time for all of those things and they give me wiggle room for now, knowing I'd be better if I knew how. They know I'm not really avoiding them. And if they think that, they don't know me very well at all.<br />
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I hope that if you're reading this, you're one of those friends. Or at least, you are now. If I knew how to be the perfect friend AND the perfect mom, I would. But right now, my life is about Ellie and my family. And occasionally, when I can sneak one in, a bubble bath.<br />
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Thanks for letting me vent. I know there are other moms out there in the same boat, even if they swore they wouldn't be. Here we all are, eternally torn. And sometimes, a bit heartbroken. Things change, I'll get over it, and someone else will step up to bake cookies and hand tissues to her crying friend. She'll be the new "mom" and I'll be "the friend with the kid" and one day, that will be enough.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-89933687699460961252011-01-17T11:03:00.000-05:002011-01-17T11:03:52.157-05:00Life's Mysterious WaysNot to be cliche, but it's true that sometimes life just works out funny. I've often thought about why things happen, when and how they happen. And with Ellie, it's no different. She came to us exactly the way she was meant to, no accidents. I tried to blame myself for a long time for the unfortunate circumstances around her birth, but no matter how hard I tried, I kept seeing that it couldn't possibly be my fault. After a few months, and especially when she came home, I stopped trying. I just accepted that she got here exactly the right way for her.<br />
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Drama queen.<br />
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No, but seriously, life does have very mysterious ways about it. Have you ever noticed that you bump into people after many years at exactly the right moment in your life that they would be helpful? Or how you find love when it's unexpected, earn a promotion when you're not trying, or find something long forgotten when it becomes more meaningful than ever before?<br />
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When I was pregnant with Ellie, my writing came to a halt. I tried to write, I really did. I blamed my preggo brain for obliterating all my creativity. I said I'd get better after I gave birth. The end result was that my novels - and all my writing projects - sat neglected for over a year. <br />
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While I was pregnant with Ellie, I also went for the routine ultrasound, got my little print outs, and promised to treasure them always. Somewhere in the shuffle of our kitchen table, and all the stuff I kept leaving there as a reminder to get some writing done, they disappeared. We moved from that apartment when Ellie was 7 months old, and I still hadn't found them. I gave them up for lost and was just thankful that I scanned them onto my computer. At least I still "had" them, even if I didn't.<br />
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In November, finally, I got back into writing. I wrote a new novel, one that I have high hopes for, and I set myself to the task of getting published again. And, you know, not only did I start to feel like myself again, but something amazing happened.<br />
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This morning, I opened one of my favorite books on writing and I found it. There they were, the ultrasound pictures. Somehow, I had tucked them inside this book, whether on purpose or by accident I don't know. But something precious to me was sitting inside this book, waiting for me to find them. Ellie was <em>in</em> my book on writing. Two parts of my life kept each other company when I thought they were lost.<br />
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And now I know that everything is happening exactly as it's supposed to.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-69272446811862373362011-01-03T12:55:00.001-05:002011-01-03T12:56:51.203-05:00Parenting Mistake #1 - Underestimating Your BabyI have called my daughter many things: Dragon Baby, Destructo-Baby, Hulk Baby (she's very strong), and even Houdini Baby. She's got super powers, I swear to you. And as she grows and develops, I too have had to learn a few things. Lesson number one, never underestimate your baby's abilities.<br />
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My daughter is ten months old and yet she can unscrew the top of her hearing aid container. She's successfully negotiated a zipper on a few occasions. She can open draws and cabinets, pull open the blinds on the sliding glass door, move her baby gate, tip the dog's water bowl, open the toilet lid, and climb into the bath tub. She can get down off the bed and off the couch. She can almost climb back up - almost. But I know that as soon as I don't think she can do such a thing, she'll figure it out.<br />
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This little girl is tenacious, curious, and stubborn - a potent combination that makes her a disaster waiting to happen. Think she can't reach that cup of coffee on the table? Think again. Or maybe she won't notice that cell phone over there.... hmmm, even if she does, could she get to it? Yes. The answer is always yes. <br />
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When I was a little girl, I was an angel. My mother extolls my virtues often, saying that she could sit me in the middle of the room, say "Stay here." and I would obey, no questions asked. It's not that I wasn't curious, I was just obedient. Ellie understands the word "No," but sees it as an option not an imperative. She looks at you, cracks a smile, then resumes the forbidden activity with renewed vigor. This child is a boundary-tester. This child is her father's daughter.<br />
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You see, my husband was the opposite of me as a child. Into everything, curious about how it works, curious how far he could push it before his mother intervened. Ellie invites you to chase her, hopes you'll get up off the couch and stop her. She wants to be in trouble.<br />
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I have absolutely no idea how to combat this. Such personality traits are foreign to me. But step one is to always think ahead of the baby, never assume she can't figure out how to do exactly what she isn't supposed to do. So far, I've diffused many harmful scenarios and I've developed tactics that help me distract her. I'm just never leaving her alone. Ever.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-21910105912730681292011-01-02T02:34:00.000-05:002011-01-02T02:34:27.048-05:00Baby's First Christmas<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Hcf6GWvO16I/TSAmH9m9EaI/AAAAAAAAAWs/yLdmisypY2s/s1600/156811_188343837846838_100000136691920_764529_3389909_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" n4="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Hcf6GWvO16I/TSAmH9m9EaI/AAAAAAAAAWs/yLdmisypY2s/s200/156811_188343837846838_100000136691920_764529_3389909_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Ellie's first Christmas has officially come and gone, and her play area received a complete makeover in the process. From cars to horses, purses to singing story books, Cabbage Patch babies to her first Wii game, my kid got spoiled this year.<br />
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I have a feeling this is just the beginning...<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Hcf6GWvO16I/TSAmOyqAxQI/AAAAAAAAAWw/40jSZbA4q_U/s1600/164573_188344204513468_100000136691920_764550_6732867_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" n4="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Hcf6GWvO16I/TSAmOyqAxQI/AAAAAAAAAWw/40jSZbA4q_U/s200/164573_188344204513468_100000136691920_764550_6732867_n.jpg" width="200" /></a>Anyway, she opened some presents, played in some boxes, and tried out as many of her new toys as Mommy and Grandma could wrestle from the parent-proof packaging. Seriously, why are they trying to keep us out of there so badly?<br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Hcf6GWvO16I/TSAmTAZXrsI/AAAAAAAAAW0/EvjviDnLQfc/s1600/164392_700455060390_10913298_38852526_1946499_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" n4="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Hcf6GWvO16I/TSAmTAZXrsI/AAAAAAAAAW0/EvjviDnLQfc/s200/164392_700455060390_10913298_38852526_1946499_n.jpg" width="200" /></a>Elissa also got her very first Patriots jersey thanks to 'Auntie' Kate, who gets huge points in my book. Now we've got a miniature Tom Brady fan on our hands. I'm just jealous that I don't have my <em>own</em> jersey to coordinate on game day!</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">And of course, Ellie's first rocking horse (from Uncle Derek) was a big hit. My little princess just can't get enough of this toy... I'm not looking forward to the Christmas when she asks for a real pony... </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> Ellie also got her very first purse (it's a learning toy, okay?) from Santa, an adorable Cabbage Patch doll from Aunt Sammi (her new travel companion on all car trips), her first Build-a-Bear, lots of loud music-making toys, and a gigantic teddy bear that will be bigger than her until she reaches the second grade, at least. And that's only about 1/5 of the list!</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Thanks to EVERYONE for making Elissa's first Christmas such a big success, and a day that we'll look back on for years to come. I already can't wait for next year!</div>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-80953518683081148752010-12-08T21:57:00.000-05:002010-12-08T21:57:38.547-05:00Mommy Time...So it's been a while since I've been here, and for that I apologize. We've had a lot going on in the past couple of weeks:<br />
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<ul><li>We traveled to Buffalo to spend Ellie's first Thanksgiving with my family.</li>
<li>I spent the last couple of days of November writing furiously to complete NaNoWriMo. I wrote a new novel, <a href="http://otherwiseengagednovel.blogspot.com/">Otherwise Engaged</a>, which I also blogged about on another Blogger page.</li>
<li>Ellie is making it harder and harder for me to even touch a keyboard...</li>
</ul>As for that last bullet point, that's what this post is about. Ellie's recent phase: Mommy Separation Anxiety. Yes, it's official. My daughter can't stand to be parted from me, even for a brief enough space of time for me to pour coffee into a mug. She screams if I sit her on the floor and don't immediately sit next to her, or if I strap her into the high chair and go to the cabinet for her food. Our apartment is tiny, you can see almost everywhere wherever you're sitting. It's not like I'm disappearing from sight... I'm just walking elsewhere.<br />
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She also can't go to bed unless I put her down for the night. She either screams in Mike's face for nearly an hour or she wakes up every 30-60 minutes until after midnight. On Sunday, she did this until 3 AM and even though I was the one rocking her back to sleep, she'd still wake up half an hour later.<br />
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It's hard on Mike because he wants to help me and he wants to spend time with her after a whole day apart. It's hard on me because I have a writing job I'm supposed to be doing at night and I can't get any work done if she's either A) awake and screaming because I'm not sitting with her or B) screaming in the other room because she doesn't want Daddy to put her to bed. And it's obviously hard on her because it's like a complete breakdown occurs, like she's overrun with anxiety about me being away. <br />
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Meanwhile, she's started hitting and scratching and biting (all unintentional, I think) which means I get the crap beaten out of me all day long. All. Day. Long. I have the marks to prove it, too!<br />
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Well, whatever this is, I hope it's just a phase. I trust it's just a phase, otherwise I'd probably go nuts. This will pass eventually... but it sure would be nice if we could all just take a day off. It'd be nice not to be so needed for even an hour.<br />
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Ugh.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-15111370720090204572010-11-22T23:28:00.001-05:002010-11-22T23:28:57.162-05:00Elissa at Nine MonthsToday, my little Ellie Bear turned nine months old - and on the actual day of the week on which she was born, too :) So I thought this occasion warranted a brief update on how she's doing, especially since we just conducted a round of checkups coinciding with this milestone. So there's lots to share!<br />
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Our first visit, about a week ago, was to Dr. Doody at Mass General. He's the pediatric surgeon who performed the ECMO procedure (and basically, you know, saved her life). We always like to see him. The visit was just a quick check in to look at her scars, listen to her lungs, and just see how she's doing. He was impressed that she's never even had a cold and also that she tried to steal his stethoscope. Hey, if you're going to dangle shiny things in front of the kid's face, it's bound to happen. She got an A+.<br />
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The second visit, that very afternoon, was to our old friends in Neurology at MGH. These are, by far, my least favorite doctors to visit. No offense to any neurologists out there, but I'm pretty sure they get paid to be extra negative. I've spent many conversations with them trying to look on the bright side and being quickly given a reality slap to the face. They're trademark phrase: "We're still watching for..." X, Y, Z - all horrible things that you don't want your child to have to face. It's usually depressing. But this time, Ellie decided to impress them. She was crawling all over the table, trying to take the medical instruments from the doctors, stealing their glasses... usual antics we see around the house. Even the neurologists had to admit that she no longer seems at risk for any of the big issues they once feared. They were "pleased" with her development to date. Sounds like she got an A to me.<br />
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We also swung by the old NICU wing for a quick visit. No appointment or evaluation there, just an update to our wall photo and a great big hello to our favorite nurses in the UNIVERSE. I really love those people over there. And sometimes I kinda miss them... just, when it's time, don't tell my #2 that I said that. I don't want to go back there, no matter how many friends I made. Ugh.<br />
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Our Early Intervention assessment last Tuesday was also a success. She's scoring at or above all her milestones, from crawling on all fours to pulling herself up and walking along the couch. She's babbling all the right sounds, with the occasional purposeful word thrown in there. She's using her fingers to grab things (out of the carpet) and she's getting strong enough to start threatening her first steps. EEK! Another A+!<br />
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Finally, this week we visited Ellie's pediatrician for a nine-month round of shots and a physical. She took the flu shot like a champ but did not so much enjoy getting her iron levels checked. Poor thing! She is, however, doing well enough (and according to the doctor, completely caught up!) so it's time for some real solid foods! We've graduated to Gerber Puffs to help her learn to chew and Stage 3 foods. She's got all those crazy combos now, like Turkey Dinner and Spaghetti & Meatballs. We're not sure how she's taking the switch so far, but she really loves those banana-flavored puffs. As soon as she gets a few more teeth, we'll be able to try some other new things.<br />
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So that's that... She's passing everything with flying colors and doing so well that most of her doctors can't believe she's the same baby that came into this world just struggling to breathe and survive. My little girl is, indeed, one ultimate fighting ninja.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-9199555690655043062010-11-19T13:04:00.000-05:002010-11-19T13:04:04.889-05:00UnfinishedWith the deadline for National Novel Writing Month looming and me behind on my word count, it's hard not to think about all the things I've left unfinished in the past. I don't like to talk about these things because I'd prefer it if everyone thought, "Oh wow, that girl's got amazing follow through!" Because when you're a kid you always hear, "You can do anything you put your mind too!"<br />
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Well, I put my mind to a lot of things and sometimes I get distracted. I've had a lot of failed blogs, lots of false starts on new novels, and I have an entire file folder dedicated to empty documents with really great short story titles. Do I get bored? Am I obsessed with the feeling that newness brings? How easily am I seduced by novelty?<br />
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Thinking about failure like this is a quick way to make a girl depressed, let me tell you. If you sum my life up as a resume of things I started and didn't finished, it wouldn't fit on one page... also, it'd be the lamest resume ever created in the history of man. Does the resume of things I <em>have</em> completed stand up?<br />
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But in my usual fickle way, one that Pollyanna would be proud to have inspired, I eventually turn to look at things like this from a positive perspective. After all, everything has a light side... clouds with silver linings and what not. Cliches aside, I can probably say that I start more than most people. So I don't finish everything. Who can? I do the best I can and I know when to cut my losses or shift gears or whatever you want to call it.<br />
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If I look at that list of started novels--According to Bogart, Garden Variety, Returning Phoebe, Remaking Mackenzie, Superheroes (there's a winner... ugh), or Rent This (oh, college)--at least I can be proud that I opened up a document and started typing. Not all words need to have a destination, they're all part of the journey.<br />
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Ooh! Can I use that line in a book somewhere?<br />
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Anyway, I hope you see my point. If you've got a 100% completion rate but you've only ever started two or three things in your entire life, is that better than a 25% completion rate when you've started two or three <em>hundred</em> things? Ask Tom Brady, I'd bet he'd rather throw the ball more often than not, even if Wes Welker can't get underneath it every time. Because who knows which one of those will be a touchdown pass?<br />
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Maybe I just need to work on my aim.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-71848843337516567782010-11-16T12:35:00.001-05:002010-11-16T12:36:10.476-05:00Adult Contact, OptionalMy life has changed drastically since 2009, and not just in the ways I expected. I went from a fairly social, working full-time out of the home mother-to-be to what I am today and it hasn't even been nine months. It's enough to make your head spin, if you think about it.<br />
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Before I had a baby, there were so many things I didn't understand. You can't just take the baby everywhere you go. You can't make a child take a nap. You can't explain to an eight-month-old that pulling hair and biting are considered rude in your culture, and many others. You also can't explain work, chores, and what in the bloody hell a laptop is used for... cuz it's certainly not for eating.<br />
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I kinda knew this was coming for me. You know life will be different, but listing the coming changes arbitrarily in your head pales in comparison to living them out daily. I'm mostly happy with the changes, but I've also learned something I didn't expect at all. That social part of me I mentioned? It likes to be a hermit sometimes.<br />
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I've also enjoyed quality alone time, even as a kid. I love to read a book, which is by nature a solitary activity, and I've spent many a lunch time doing so. In a corner, on my own, just me and a book and a turkey sandwich. I've also chosen a profession as a writer. Again, this is by nature a very solitary activity since everything happens inside your mind. Sorry, but no one else can get invited to that party. Granted, I probably share my work more readily than you average author, but my inclusion stops there. I don't write by group decision, though I am always open to feedback.<br />
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I often wonder if it weren't for social networking sites how different my life would be. Living here in an apartment more removed from public transportation and many of my friends, with a dog and a baby as my only steady company, you'd think a person would go mad. I have my lonely days -- yesterday was one of the worst -- but then I have days like today where I revel in the peace and quiet of naptime, the joy of a cup of coffee, and a list of new chapters waiting to be written. Even writing some articles sounds like a good idea when I have this quality time to myself.<br />
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I really do love to be alone. But I had two misconceptions about this before I had Ellie. The first was that I would be terribly lonely all the time, craving adult interaction. But out of, say, ten days that only happens for one. The other misconception was that I'd run out of things to do and wind up just sitting on the couch, watching soaps. (No offense if you do watch soaps, but I'd rather poke my own eyeballs out and feed them to the dog. Seriously.) Before the dog, the baby, and my writing "habit," I used to get lonely at night when Mike had rehearsal, so this was a real concern. As it turns out, I've got plenty of ways to keep myself occupied. <br />
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I just have to make sure I leave the house once in a while.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-32373026425074810152010-11-12T21:47:00.000-05:002010-11-12T21:47:06.071-05:00Multi-tasking: The Secret to a Happy MomI was good at multi-tasking before I became a Mom. I could do my homework while I watched a Pats game. I could talk on the phone and paint my toenails. Hell, I could even walk and chew gum at the same time.<br />
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But when you're as pressed for time as I often find myself these days, multi-tasking isn't just a skill that's nice to have. It suddenly becomes a necessity, if you ever plan to accomplish anything for yourself. People ask me how I'm finding the time to write professionally, write fiction for fun, parent, cook, review all the DVDs in our collection one by one, do the laundry, and walk the dog. The secret is simple: I never do any one of those things, I do several at the same time.<br />
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A typical day in my house is filled with combination task completion. A movie plays on the TV (for me to review later) while Ellie plays on the floor with her hearing aids in, Penny eats her breakfast, and Mommy folds some laundry. When Ellie naps, I cook breakfast for myself while also cleaning the kitchen, making bottles, watching a movie, and opening the mail. By the time four o'clock hits, I'm pretty tired... but that's when <em>my </em>time starts.<br />
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When Mike gets home, the multi-tasking doesn't stop, it just takes on a new purpose. It's for me. Instead of passing out, as I always want to do, I grab my iPod and a pad and paper and go to the gym. Yes, I take a notebook to the gym. Why? That's valuable brainstorming time, my friends. My neighbors think I'm strange, jogging on the treadmill while jotting down haphazard phrases like "they look like sisters" or "why doesn't he want the hot chick?" Amazingly, I can always manage to read them later. You probably couldn't read them, but I can figure it out.<br />
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That notebook helps me jumpstart my writing for the night after Ellie goes to bed. When I finally sit down in a peaceful, quiet house and I'm the only one awake, that's when I write a movie review, while checking my email, balancing my bank account, formatting a query letter, and researching articles. I think my brain is happier when it's doing more than one thing at a time.<br />
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That's lucky for me, since my brain probably doesn't have a choice right now.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3961331131432114550.post-49543920650002589922010-11-09T22:50:00.001-05:002010-11-09T22:51:29.139-05:00NaNoWriMo is Not a Disease...But it is an affliction.<br />
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Seriously, though, some people have been asking what NaNoWriMo is all about. What does it stand for? What do you have to do? And most importantly, why am I doing this to myself? (Again?)<br />
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NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. Basically, a bunch of people around the world hold aside the month of November to write out the entire first draft of a novel. It can be about anything or anyone. It doesn't have to be good. It just has to be 50,000 words or more and completed between November 1-30. That's 50,000 words in 30 days... roughly 1667 words per day.<br />
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I started participating in 2008, when I "won" by finishing the first draft of <em>Re-Gifting Ava</em>. From that book, which many of you have read, I garnered a great review of my work from a blogging site's editor and spawned a five-book women's fiction series called <em>Boston in Common. </em>I wrote the second book of the series, <em>Redeeming Grace</em>, during the month of March using the same NaNoWriMo strategy (just without the fancy word count meter). The other three are outlined, but still need to be written. <em>Ava</em> and <em>Grace</em> have been hovering in edit land for a long, long time. Although I had an agent interested, I'm currently not signed with anyone, so no publication plans yet. Those ladies (Ava and Grace) need to get their acts together (and so do I....)<br />
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In 2009, I was totally preggo and my brain went on vacation. I competed, but did not win. <em>According to Bogart</em>, my first attempt at a mystery/romance hybrid clocked in around 15,000 before I got a mystery virus that landed me on the couch for two weeks. NaNoWriMo came and went last year... it was very depressing.<br />
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This year, I'm working on a stand-alone romance called <em>Otherwise Engaged</em>. <a href="http://otherwiseengagednovel.blogspot.com/">I'm blogging about my progress here if you're interested</a>. So far, I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay behind on my word count, but I have time. A couple of afternoons in a coffee house ought to do the trick, if I can just find the time.<br />
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So that's what NaNoWriMo is. Why do I do it? I love a good challenge. I love the discipline it forces me to have. And I love the idea of having a brand new novel to edit by December. I once saw a button that said "NaNoWriMo: Suicide for Creative People." While it may feel like that some days, I think it's really the opposite. You sink or swim, but if you can swim, you might've just discovered a brand new talent that was hiding inside you all this time.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10941654460042820558noreply@blogger.com0